Sunday, May 2, 2010

Channel Surfing with Jimbo the Cart Boy


Everyone knows beach drama has been around ever since the first beach was invented, right? Well, nothing is more unpleasant then seeing it first hand, or worse yet, being the main recipient of it!

So what’s a person to do? Get yelled at and have sand kicked in your face? NO WAY!

One possible solution would be to hire a massive muscle packed body guard resembling a QUENCH Spotter, per say. But bodyguards can be expensive and may not always be around when the drama unfolds. And they just may be a little too preoccupied at any given moment to come to your rescue, if ya know what I mean (see exhibit A).
Exibit A: See? Too preoccupied to protect anyone!

So one day I was thumbing through some old comic books, and I came across this ad:

And I’m thinking to myself (light bulb over head goes on), here’s the solution EVERYONE can benefit from. The age old proven brilliance of Charles Atlas’ "Dynamic-Tension" program!

That’s right, folks, the best defense is a great offense! A little something to prepare yourself with for the day when YOU will need to stick up for YOURSELF.

So I sent away for a program myself and in a few short weeks I got freekin’ busting out of my skin ripped and transformed myself from wimp, to pimp! Just look at the before and after results, see for yourself…
Before Charles Atlas’ "Dynamic-Tension" program:
Don’t I look pathetic?

After Charles Atlas’ "Dynamic-Tension" program:
See what I’m talking about? Just look at that physique!

So if you’re tired of being a scrawny pencil necked weakling and want to be the “King of the Beach”, then don’t delay. Take a lesson from Mac like I did, and get the Charles Atlas’ "Dynamic-Tension" program today! And remember beach drama should never be tolerated!


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Colleen Brennan said...

LMAO... so funny Jimbo....You should have just stopped in at Mojo's Gym located under the pier at Tsunami!

If anyone kicks sand in my face I wil send you after them : )

Anonymous said...

OK so I found the comic book, ate the coupon and.........I´m still not ripped!!

If anyone has more coupons please photo-copy one for me.


PS: I Googled "The Charles Atlas program" and the info I found said to eat as many of the old coupons as you can find for "similar" results??

Lissa Pinion said...

I dunno Jimbo, nerd is in darlin and you were sooo cute. Now you are all muscle w/ no soft spots any more. btw...can you reach over and grab that noob off that jetski for me pls? thanks!

Kantbe said...

I followed VW's plan as well. I didn't get all muscled out either, but now.....

What do I do about all this chest hair????


Anonymous said...

Unfortunately I did get ripped only on tequila!! Since SW is now closer I seem to be ripped ...really ripped!! LMAO!! Jimbo you are so funny love reading your posts man totally hilarious!!

QUENCH said...

I personaly use Mojo's Gym.
Hey Jimbo didn't i see you there 6 hrs one day?
Yes i did!! you were talking to Berry Bonds!!!

QUENCH said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Ashleigh Dickins said...

Oy vey! Everyone's commenting on the program and the buffness... but from the second I read Charles Atlas I started picturing Frankenfurter and Rocky from Rocky Horror. Am I alone here?

Jimbo said...


I think all your comments about this article were actually funnier than the original article itself!

What a great bunch of fun people you all are. Thanks you all for everything you do day in and day out to make second life surfing fun for everyone!

Lissa Pinion said...

Yes Ash, in this one you are alone ya weirdo! hehe