#metoo in the Virtual World: The Stories Continue

Our series is not about a hashtag although that's a symbolic visual that tells you immediately what you can expect in the topic.  After hearing stories of people in Second Life (SL) talking about harassment and assault, SurfWatch started this series by asking the question of whether sexual harassment or sexual assault also exist in virtual worlds.  SurfWatch shared research on the topic.  People weighed in by sharing their stories and commenting.  In-world experts gave their opinions.  Many people commented privately to myself and shared stories not published.

Our series is about exploring this topic in a virtual environment.  It's about creating an awareness.  For those that may turn a blind eye or accept this behavior, maybe this awareness will inspire change and maybe an opportunity for healing.  It happens in real life (RL) frequently: typically women but sometimes men as well, feeling under pressure to do something they are not comfortable with, or fearing some kind of retribution or ostracism if they don't comply to a sexual demand, especially by someone in a position of authority, or deliberately being placed in uncomfortable or harmful situations for the sexual gratification of someone else.

SurfWatch is honored to share these stories.  We continue to support the women and men who are brave enough to come forward and talk about their experiences.

Kantbe Thursday's story:

When I first started SL, it didn’t take me long to realize there was a need for L$. I promised myself I wasn’t going to spend any RL $ in SL, so I started looking for as many free things I could and also ways to earn a few L$. I even tried “camping” for a while and realized that was a pretty big waste of time.

I discovered that it was possible to get some fairly nice clothing if you could manage to get a modeling job. This was way back before mesh, so it was more feasible to be able to modify your avatar to look pretty good. I did manage to get a couple of modeling jobs, some for just an occasional shot used for store ad posters, and other more regular ones for picture collections.

One guy always wanted me to preview the shots to provide feedback on which ones I thought were better. I was such a noob that I really didn’t know anything about taking and sharing pictures in SL. I thought it was a little odd that he was using chat in Yahoo Messenger for previewing pictures, but he said it was much faster and easier. I didn’t know any better, so I went along with it.

After each photo shoot, he’d let me know when a picture set was ready and we’d join a chat session together. In order to see each picture, I’d need to accept the invitation to view. I suppose this should have been a red flag, but it wasn’t. During one of our review sessions, I clicked on the accept button to open a window. To my surprise and shock, it was a live video of him showing me his genitals. I was so surprised, I didn’t know what to do at first. Finally, I came to my senses and quit Messenger, which I later deleted entirely. The sim owner that hosted the photo studio was someone I knew, so I told him what happened. He ejected and banned the guy, and I think he turned in a Abuse Report to LL.

I’ve since learned a lot more in SL. I’m like so many others and get uninvited pictures sent to me from people I don’t know. I simply trash them and move on. I discovered, in what was frightening to me, that I had to learn more how to handle things in this virtual world I had just entered.

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