Kantbe Serious: 2019 New Year Resolutions

I'm sure y'all know the old saying, rules are made to be broken. Well, I think the same thing is true for New Year Resolutions. Nevertheless, I'll suggest a few. Not saying they're original nor that I'll actually try to adopt any as my own.  But it's still interesting to think about which ones I might be able to keep for a change.




I resolve to spend 8 hours per day watching TV rather than the 7.5 I currently spend.

I will only surf the internet in my pajamas from now on (even it means not changing clothes all day).

I will make sure the toilet paper is on the dispenser the right way so Mal will see I’ve been paying attention.

I will eat out more so I won't waste all of that water, electricity, and gas doing dishes.

I will not drive more than 10 miles per hour over the speed limit (unless it's really late at night and there's no one on the road in front of me). 

I will try to tailgate the car in front of me less often, especially if I can tell it's a police car.

I resolve to read more. I’ll turn on subtitles on my TV.

I will have a more positive outlook and start looking at more things as half full… of gin or tequila.

I will only eat one chocolate bar per day (unless it's a high stress day in which all bets are off).

I will not try to read as much because it just clogs the brain with useless tidbits that will only help if I play Trivial Pursuits again.

I will do less laundry and use more deodorant.

I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet.

I will remove all clocks visible on or nearby my computer.

I will stop saying," Ooh, that feels nice" whenever the security guys frisk me at airports.

I will stop answering the Red Cross screening question, "Have you had sex with a homosexual man within the past 24 hours?" by saying, "Not in the past 24 hours".

What are some of yours?

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